acesecrets:

I feel legitimately unsafe after seeing how many people hate demisexuality as an orientation.

I’m a 25-year-old guy who’s been ID’ing this way for 5 years. I was completely asexual growing up. I’ve had people in real life tell me that there was something wrong with me because I never fancied celebrities or dated - or even had crushes on - anyone at school. I’ve been bullied because some guys thought my lack of sexuality was a weakness in my masculinity, something they could “beat back into me to make me a man”.

In the last few years since I met my partner, who started out as a friend, I’ve had people berate me for “lying” that we were together because our relationship wasn’t “real”, or suggesting that he’d been cheating on me, when I’d said that I wasn’t sexually attracted to, or didn’t have sex with, my partner in the three years I first started dating him (even though I am now).

The day I found out about demisexuality was the first day I felt comfortable with myself, knowing that I wasn’t broken or sick, or that it was possible to have relationships without immediate or imminent sexual obligation. I was so happy to have found something that described me. I can’t imagine what would happen if that identity was now taken away from me.

But since I joined this website, I have never seen this much animosity towards the identity. I’ve now left tumblr, because I couldn’t stand the constant attacks. I occasionally still browse now and again, but it still makes me feel sick every time I come across the same hate.

I’m scared that it’s slowly poisoning me against demisexuality. I’m starting to feel insecure and frightened again. As someone who also suffers from clinical depression, that is a really bad thing. I’m close to just giving it all up already.

I don’t want to go back to the darkness of wandering around without being secure of who I am, thinking there really is something wrong with me, not having any identity that I comfortably belong to.

To be honest, I’d rather die.

Demisexuality is real, and no one has the power to convince you otherwise.

On feminist historian’s last post, a bunch of people came out of the woodwork pointing out how messed up it was of her to say that demisexuality doesn’t exist. So just because a few voices are constantly negative, that doesn’t mean most people feel negatively about demisexuality. And it is a few voices— and they’ve been criticizing the ace spectrum since long before this all came to Tumblr, with little consistent reasoning over the months. Just ignore them. The loudest voices are not necessarily the majority.