cinnamonwheel:

How much ace wank would we cut out if the term “homophile” had never been replaced? If we were talking about homophiles and heterophiles (and biphiles and panphiles and omniphiles), would the major wank be 19-year-old tumblr martyrs complaining about how ~oppressive~ it is that people think “aphile” means they don’t like anything?

That doesn’t help at all. You’d just have a bunch of really confused biphiles, panphiles, and omniphiles wandering around. “Sure, I like you…” “Great! Wanna have sex or make out?” “… I didn’t mean that way!” “… but… you’re pan…” “AGH!”

Romantic and sexual attractions are not the only ones out there. For aromantic aces, the most important attractions we experience are neither romantic or sexual. That’s why it’s unhelpful to try to specify people’s sexual orientations— or lump them into categories against their will— by who they “like” or are attracted to. I like and am attracted to lots of people, of multiple genders. I don’t want to date or have sex with any of them. I’m neither bisexual/biromantic nor pansexual/panromantic. I’m willing to guess that even for many people who are romantic and/or sexual, the notion of defining their identity based on who they “like” is problematic.