February 2012
505 posts
On Living Alone
rescrie:
aceadmiral:
So the other day I was linked to this article about how people who are single generally have just as much support as married people, and actually over time tend to have more. Then, yesterday, I saw this segment where an author talks about research he’s done on the global trend of more and more people living alone, and how, in spite of his initial expectations, he seems to...
Tumblr Hiatus
If you’re reading this, it’s Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent in the Protestant liturgical year. For Lent, I am altering my Internet habits in such a way that I will, essentially, not be on Tumblr. I will still be blogging at Confessions of an Ist, where I’m hoping to put up a few book reviews and run a serial story about a man and his queerplatonic zucchini. I can also be...
Charles Duhigg at New York Times: How Companies... →
As the marketers explained to Pole — and as Pole later explained to me, back when we were still speaking and before Target told him to stop — new parents are a retailer’s holy grail. Most shoppers don’t buy everything they need at one store. Instead, they buy groceries at the grocery store and toys at the toy store, and they visit Target only when they need certain items they associate with...
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You think by Scripture you possess eternal life... →
The reason I love Rachel Held Evan’s writing so much is that she is willing to ask questions. That makes me feel it’s okay for me to ask questions, too.
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Hey look, the troll turned the ace tags into a...
The Law of Unexpected Consequences. <3.
Oh man, with all the hate on the asexual tag...
Actually that wasn’t my idea.
stone soup books: Top Ten Tuesday →
stonesoupbooks:
Top Ten Tuesday is an original feature/weekly meme created at The Broke and the Bookish.
Top Ten Books I’d Quickly Save If My House Was Going To Be Abducted By Aliens
(or any other natural disaster…you get the drift. )
1. My worn-out copy of Pamela Dean’s Tam Lin. My copy has a…
whimsicalabsurdity:
Being a trolling asshole must be very exhausting
here have some cake
Why is it always unicorns? I want to be a dragon.
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The latest troll blog
My new headcanon is that anyone who rants about feminism and asexuality in the same breath is an angry entitled dude who’s petrified that someone might have the ~temerity~ to turn him down for sex. All ideas that are counter to the supremacy of The Mighty Penis must be exterminaaaaaaaaaaaaaated!
… MRAs as Daleks. Now there’s an analogy that hadn’t occurred to me before.
Anonymous asked: would you consider someone with kinks sexually normal?
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Sustainable Food and Privilege: Why is Green... →
Pollan’s comments about feminism are one reason I never got far into Omnivore’s Dilemma.
The Enabling Deathray: drugstoreprincess: The 10... →
mswyrr:
drugstoreprincess:
The 10 lipstick brands and shades that contain the most lead, according the FDA study.
1. Maybelline’s Color Sensation in Pink Petal. (Lead content: 7.19 ppm) 2. L’Oreal Colour Riche in Volcanic. (Lead content: 7.00 ppm) 3. NARS Semi-Matte in Red Lizard. (Lead…
Anyone who wants to wear makeup should be able to do so safely whenever they feel like it.
You know...
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Cat Problems
That awkward moment where your cat stares at you like she wants to consume you in your sleep.
And by “awkward” I mean “extremely disconcerting.”
acesecrets:
I feel legitimately unsafe after seeing how many people hate demisexuality as an orientation.
I’m a 25-year-old guy who’s been ID’ing this way for 5 years. I was completely asexual growing up. I’ve had people in real life tell me that there was something wrong with me because I never fancied celebrities or dated - or even had crushes on - anyone at school. I’ve been bullied because...
All right, I'm decided. Male partner must be...
At the risk of sounding like a troll, what happens if you fall in (some form of) love with someone who doesn’t fit these parameters?
And at the risk of sounding like one of those obnoxious “you’ll know better when you’re older people,” life doesn’t always work out like we plan.
Getting Books on Asexuality Into Libraries
rufflesnotdiets:
greenchestnuts:
Hey aces, ace-spectrum people, and allies, I have thought of a potential way to further our eeeeeevil asexual agenda!
Next month, the first book about the asexual identity comes out in US markets (I don’t know about international ones). Some parts of the description are giving me pause, but it is by a researcher who has done some thoughtful studies of...
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Tweeting the History of the Japanese American... →
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Fat Tuesday
Alas, no king cake today!
I don’t think many people around here would even know what that is.
shiyiya:
greenchestnuts:
gifoverit:
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Well, yeah, he has a better attitude towards asexuality and demisexuality, certainly.
But I, personally, do not want allies who are manipulative and misogynistic. Hence my discomfort with his “allyship.”
I would contest the idea that someone who seems to think demisexuality is a harmless delusion counts as an ally at all.
That, too.
gifoverit:
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I’m very sensitive to manipulative behavior; I tend to notice it. Presumably we simply have different criteria and cutoffs for the categories of manipulative and misogynistic.
gifoverit:
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Well, yeah, he has a better attitude towards asexuality and demisexuality, certainly.
But I, personally, do not want allies who are manipulative and misogynistic. Hence my discomfort with his “allyship.”
dontcallmebarry asked: . My real complaint in the post I made was that these issues seem to either a)brushed aside because addressing them in a "level-headed" manner would be seen by some as acephobic, or b)be the focus of ~totally not acephobic blogs~ in which demisexuals are considered to be total special snowflakes who are against the fight for female rights. (Continued)
shiyiya:
“People are allowed to be wrong about their own lives.”
—
DREAMZONES: “Demisexual”
The rest of this post is important and you should read it, but this part is particularly important.
(via kelsium)
So not a fan of the strong implication that I’m just MISGUIDED but should be let to putter along in peace because I’m not hurting anyone.
I’m sorry, how can you judge if...
tal9000:
I just want to add that the dominant sexual paradigm’s assumption that genitals equal gender is also problematic, but, yes.
I agree, and it was not my intention to reinforce that assumption.
bloodsuckeroni:
Good reply.
Demisexuality doesn’t even fall outside the dominant sexual paradigm! It’s a pretty common way to experience attraction, it’s just that a lot of people don’t use the term in favor of “I have a low sex drive” or “I’m not into casual sex” or “I don’t really think strangers are hot, just my boyfriend” etc. (I’m not saying that demisexuality is synonymous with any of...
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Getting Books on Asexuality Into Libraries
Hey aces, ace-spectrum people, and allies, I have thought of a potential way to further our eeeeeevil asexual agenda!
Next month, the first book about the asexual identity comes out in US markets (I don’t know about international ones). Some parts of the description are giving me pause, but it is by a researcher who has done some thoughtful studies of asexuality, so I hope it will be good....
polyticks:
greenchestnuts:
polyticks:
I would like to know where anyone who honestly thinks that the “dominant sexual paradigm” is NOT “fuck people who you love” grew up and lived their lives.
Er, who honestly thinks that “have sex with people whom you love” is demisexuality…?
Unfortunately a lot of people, it seems, but let me repeat: if you’re going to critique an identity, you should be...
FACT: All asexuals are secretly Time Lords who...
myheartandmyskull:
Here’s the hardest thing about having sex—you have to figure out why you want to have it. And that affects the entire experience.
— David Jay, in this fascinating interview on asexuality, intimacy, ‘n stuff.
This. This is why I’m not interested in sex. I can’t think of a reason why I should be.
