Musings of an Ist

Q: Do I have to kill the snake?
A: University guidelines state that you have to “defeat” the snake. There are many ways to accomplish this. Lots of students choose to wrestle the snake. Some construct decoys and elaborate traps to confuse and then ensnare the snake. One student brought a flute and played a song to lull the snake to sleep. Then he threw the snake out a window.

Q: Does everyone fight the same snake?
A: No. You will fight one of the many snakes that are kept on campus by the facilities department.

Q: Are the snakes big?
A: We have lots of different snakes. The quality of your work determines which snake you will fight. The better your thesis is, the smaller the snake will be.

Q: Does my thesis adviser pick the snake?
A: No. Your adviser just tells the guy who picks the snakes how good your thesis was.

Q: What does it mean if I get a small snake that is also very strong?
A: Snake-picking is not an exact science. The size of the snake is the main factor. The snake may be very strong, or it may be very weak. It may be of Asian, African, or South American origin. It may constrict its victims and then swallow them whole, or it may use venom to blind and/or paralyze its prey. You shouldn’t read too much into these other characteristics. Although if you get a poisonous snake, it often means that there was a problem with the formatting of your bibliography.

Q: When and where do I fight the snake? Does the school have some kind of pit or arena for snake fights?
A: You fight the snake in the room you have reserved for your defense. The fight generally starts after you have finished answering questions about your thesis. However, the snake will be lurking in the room the whole time and it can strike at any point. If the snake attacks prematurely it’s obviously better to defeat it and get back to the rest of your defense as quickly as possible.

Q: Would someone who wrote a bad thesis and defeated a large snake get the same grade as someone who wrote a good thesis and defeated a small snake?
A: Yes.

Q: So then couldn’t you just fight a snake in lieu of actually writing a thesis?
A: Technically, yes. But in that case the snake would be very big. Very big, indeed.

Q: Could the snake kill me?
A: That almost never happens. But if you’re worried, just make sure that you write a good thesis.

Q: Why do I have to do this?
A: Snake fighting is one of the great traditions of higher education. It may seem somewhat antiquated and silly, like the robes we wear at graduation, but fighting a snake is an important part of the history and culture of every reputable university. Almost everyone with an advanced degree has gone through this process. Notable figures such as John Foster Dulles, Philip Roth, and Doris Kearns Goodwin (to name but a few) have all had to defeat at least one snake in single combat.

Q: This whole snake thing is just a metaphor, right?
A: I assure you, the snakes are very real.

"The Snake Fight Portion of Your Thesis Defense" by Luke Burns (via inevitablerecursion)

(via anthean)

Fortunately I only had to capture a teeny little whiptail lizard for my preliminary exams, but my proposal defense is approaching alarmingly quickly and I am brushing up my capturing skills. :D 

(via writingfromfactorx)

Aaaaaaaagh.

transyoite:

here’s an idea: poor people are allowed to have nice things

In a study of children aged 2-5, parents interrupted their daughters more than their sons, and fathers were more likely to talk simultaneously with their children than mothers were. Jennifer Coates says: “It seems that fathers try to control conversation more than mothers… and both parents try to control conversation more with daughters than with sons. The implicit message to girls is that they are more interruptible and that their right to speak is less than that of boys.”

Girls and boys’ differing understanding of when to talk, when to be quiet, what is polite and so on, has a visible impact on the dynamics of the classroom. Just as men dominate the floor in business meetings, academic conferences and so on, so little boys dominate in the classroom - and little girls let them.

X  (via albinwonderland)

Working with children for over a decade, this is something I’ve noticed, actually. And for the majority, the little girls in my class and my co-worker’s classes all sit quietly and listen MUCH better than the boys do. Most boys don’t care to be quiet and sit still. And I don’t think this is an attribute of boys being “rowdier” or more “hyper” - believe me, the girls are JUST as off the wall as the boys if you aren’t telling them not to. It must be a learned behavior, and it must be enforced more with the girls so they know they can’t get away with it. You have no idea how many times in my career I’ve heard “boys will be boys,” and smiling parents as they tell me with a laugh, sorry, their son is “wild” and a “handful” as they introduce him to the class.

(via voicelikehelvetica)

And that’s how you do sexism.  That’s how it’s so effectively trained into every single citizen and indoctrinated as normal and right.

(via waltzy)

greenchestnuts:


Jeremy Renner revealed that there are “rumblings” about Hawkeye having a supporting role in the next Captain America. YES, please and thank you.

Why not a supporting role in the next Black Widow? Hint, hint, Kevin Feige.

avengersor also a standalone introduce kate bishop film?
!!!!!!!!! *enthusiastic agreement*

greenchestnuts:

Jeremy Renner revealed that there are “rumblings” about Hawkeye having a supporting role in the next Captain America. YES, please and thank you.

Why not a supporting role in the next Black Widow? Hint, hint, Kevin Feige.

avengersor also a standalone introduce kate bishop film?

!!!!!!!!! *enthusiastic agreement*

I would love to be a superhero.-Anthony Mackie

AAAAAAAAAH

THERE’S NO ESCAPING THE FEDORAS


Jeremy Renner revealed that there are “rumblings” about Hawkeye having a supporting role in the next Captain America. YES, please and thank you.

Why not a supporting role in the next Black Widow? Hint, hint, Kevin Feige.

Jeremy Renner revealed that there are “rumblings” about Hawkeye having a supporting role in the next Captain America. YES, please and thank you.

Why not a supporting role in the next Black Widow? Hint, hint, Kevin Feige.

Now all I can picture is attractive people in fedoras.

Aldis Hodge? In a fedora! Scarlett Johansson? In a fedora! Nicole Beharie? In a fedora! Jeremy Renner? Mark Ruffalo? In fedoras! Parker and Eliot? Fedoras! Sam Wilson? Fedora! Wendy Watson in a fedora! The Middleman in a fedora!

THIS HAS BACKFIRED IN A BIG WAY

pjcalamity:

surprises:

how to get over a crush

  • imagine them in a fedora
  • ur welcome

oh wow

I

think I

did it

wrong